Thursday, April 28, 2005
On one happier noteoh got ur letter today zara.. thanks for makin mi day ok =) u realli rock =)
shite..
oh i still haf da thing dat i bought.. it's sitting on mi table now.. sitting and missing its meant 2 be owner.. crap.. 39 bux jus sittin there.. it's waiting for someone special.. waiting like me..
jase [@] 7:39:00 PM
okok germ u wanted me to blog so here i am ok
well u were dear to me and prob still are but like seriously from regular meetings till sporadic by chance hi-byes and da scary things is dat it seems to me as natural for you.. sigh oh wells.. i guess i jus hafta be happy dat at least u say hi to me.. or maybe even not =P oh wells
mmmm...
bah jen is realli dat damn good in badminton =P
well i need to say something about da schappel (dunno how to spell =P) corby case.. i think its jus disgraceful dat dis case even got dis far.. no fingerprints found on da drugs cos the police din bother checking.. da weight differences from da aust airport to indo.. if u cant prove dat she touched it and da weight indiscretion.. how does she even stand trial? u "incorrupt" country put a young woman whom u jsu found drugs in her suitcase and jus convict her.. she jus appealed to the judges and they say da judges were "moved" by her.. well in da end da dangling paycheck will prob win da day.. inquire ur own damn police force.. inquire your own customs jackasses.. u know how yourself how "clean" ur country is.. dun make an example of a convenient passerby and look to yor own bloody country for answers.. furthermore dat place u call a tourist attraction is starting to become a shithole and not becos of drugs.. its becos u cant even take care of ur own country let alone try to make an example of tourists for "defiling" ur "para-shit-dise" wif drugs.
ok im done..
cos ur everywhere to me.. when i close mi eyes its you i see.. ur everything i know dat makes me believe dat im not alone...why do i still see you.. why do i still believe and hold on to hope dats smaller den straws.. why..
jase [@] 7:01:00 PM
Monday, April 25, 2005
hmmmm
-looks around contemplatively-
u know its funny how something so distant can be so constant =)
*BoA - Shine We Are*
plays in the backgroundanyways.. i finished mi bio essay =) haah 1088 words =P whew max is 1100.. but da thing is there is so much to write about it =P rah oh wells its done so yeh =) haha
man i watched so much anime etc today =P haha 1 eps of power rangers, 1 eps of jinki extend and da entire 2hr movie of howls moving castle =) its realli not too bad haha =) hmm still got 1 eps of Ah My Goddess and 1 eps of Saiyuki reload gunlock =) okok im off to watch anime!! haha
jase [@] 9:16:00 PM
Sunday, April 24, 2005
-still waiting-
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
I know that you are something special
To you, I'd be always faithful
I want to be
What you always needed
Then I'll hope you see the heart in me
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind if you give me the chance
I'll never make you cry c'mon let's try
Am I crazy for wanting you
Maybe do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Beautiful soul, yeah
Oh, yeah
Your beautiful soul, yeah
jase [@] 11:56:00 PM
...
things haf changed so much.. i jus dont get it..
im not da social pple u all think i am.. i jus want/need dat one person dat can make me happy.. one.. cant i be even granted ONE person..
jie why are u in sale.. sigh it was nice seeing and talkin to you today.. da one hilite in da entire day...
2nd nite in a row i feel inadequate.. "uncool".. left out.. uncomfy..
but yeh thaks nick for everything ok =) da least i could do for you was rock up.. yeh hope u liked ur present =)
jase [@] 12:11:00 AM
Saturday, April 23, 2005
ok i jus woke up from da ball =P
wilfred is still sleeping.. haha
well i guess it wasnt as fun as i thot.. i dunno.. jus had dis empty feeling as i looked around... sigh i will never go to another ball unless i am ever attached agn.. so yeh..
ok dis weekend is long weekend =) hehe so i can slack around today or something =) need to type out mi essay by dis weekend and get it done wif so yeh =)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICKO!
i haf 21stbdae party 2 go 2 later! should be fun i hope..
all i onli want 1 thing for mi 21st bdae.. but i will never get it
jase [@] 10:26:00 AM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
ok i warn anyone tryin to stir up old dust.. i warn u not to do it.. dun wake up a sleeping dragon dat will bite ur ass.. pls leave it to rest.. man..
anyways.. tmr is da ball =P .. im kinda hope i meet someone else there.. oh wells.. i dunno.. i hope i can control mi being sad.. hmm i realli do need a "mask".. oh wells..
anyways.. bah bah bah =) hahah
i like dat jesse mccartney song =) haah
jase [@] 10:39:00 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
jamie's school dinners is realli such an eye-opener.. its a real look at da real world.. u should go see it or download it or something..jus take a look at it and u will see..
tmr.. tmr.. sigh.. i wonder wads going to happen tmr..
test was so shite.. both of it.. sorry kim im not dat smart =P but yeh it did remind me of da good ol days.. hehe cheating on a test =) haha was funny tho =) jus glad dat we actualli did quite ok haha.. =)
well eh betsy mate.. dats not ur real name and i knwo it u knwo it everyone knows it.. why all this stupid anonymity.. ur protected by alotta sea and land masses.. sheesh.. u look forward and shut up sit down and eat ur bloody vegies =) haha
jase [@] 7:54:00 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
ok i shall update now cos im going to be realli busy tonite.. got 1 midsemester exam tmr.. and got one other test which wun be counted in da final marks but i wld like to do well in it anyway.. yehh
well i guess i jus gotta get used to da situation now.. i either leave da gap alone or find someway to plug it.. seems sport is good pluggage so yeh.. but yeh.. i haf a feeling things are going to get pretty "interesting" and for quite awhile too...
i was jus to naive to think things will all be ok.. oh wells...
man im going to be so bored dis weekend =P
ok i need to settle some stuff.. about mi "issue".. haha dis is realli funny and stuff.. no matter wad happens jus becos they are simply "them".. nothingis ever wrong.. haha u know wad "they" do owe me something =) a realli good explanation for starters.. thay are jus hoping it all goes away cos they know they are wrong.. maybe its an aussie thing but i haf talked to pple equivalent of "mentors" and they think it was clear black and white wrong.. how come u s,pore pple onli 3 plhers think it was wrong and da mums =P haha funny isnt it.. i know u well enuf.. i know u do alot of talking and alot of digging and poking.. yet u always seem to get da facts wrong? ur mi "fren" right? u know seriously i dont even know if ur mi real fren or not.. u do nice adn supportive things one day and da next u turn around and say shit about me and u rather side others and not even listen to mi side.. u know all da facts.. im sure uve talked to germ or someone about it.. yet ur blind and dun wanna see it..
ok bah... off to work..
jase [@] 5:28:00 PM
Monday, April 18, 2005
sigh
you say things will be da same.. but they are not.. maybe im being oversensitive.. but it's like diff.. da way u talk to me.. everything.. sigh i waited for you and all i got in return was a bus trip home by miself.. sigh.. dun ask me why im feeling like dis.. i myself dunno..
why God do you work against me.. why do u give me and den take it away in da end.. uve done it to me over and over again.. why? i realli want dis and u dun allow it to me..
it's jus not fair..
at least man u won 4-1... so sportingwise its a change of fortunes.. everything else wise not =P
jase [@] 5:48:00 PM
Sunday, April 17, 2005
sigh..
i hope it happens.. pls.. i realli yearn for it to happen..
change of heart-prays fervently-
holy crap..
yellow ranger died...wtf..
jase [@] 5:34:00 PM
Saturday, April 16, 2005
go the hawks!well i guess i hope dis is a sign for good things to come.. i realli hope so..
well lets see how church turns out tmr.. lets see how things work out tmr.. lets see if mi man u can win too.. sigh
today has been semi-productive.. but yeh still no motivation to do any work.. or in dis case any more work..
mi belldandy has left for heaven where, in all her splendor, she belongs
jase [@] 8:39:00 PM
well... its been a realli bad week..
sigh i hope dat ur right about her.. i dun wanna lose mi closest fren over here.. i guess i will onli know after next week if things can revert back to normal.. oh wells..
mmf i realli haf no life nowadays.. =P com/tv/ps/anime.. yeh nothing left..
bah i hafta get some study done but im jus so not motivated at da moment.. =P
jase [@] 12:10:00 PM
Thursday, April 14, 2005
today was a gloomy and sad and cold day.. da rain made it farking worse..
u know wad.. i realli haf no bloody life over here.. its jus going to take time b4 i end up spending an entire week w/o frenz.. and den more.. oh wells.. i can find serenity in mi nbalive, mi BoA.. mi xenogears.. mi xenosaga.. mi belldandy.. mi jinki... mi powerrangers.. mi raymond..mi csi.. mi csi new york.. mi medical investigation.. mi WWE.. mi ailing hawks.. mi ailing man u.. when there's nothing left.. which may be real soon..
sighh
why are things all going down da drain.. sighhhh
-looks far yonder at u over da hill knowing u will never be mine-
jase [@] 8:18:00 PM
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
hmm yeh u finally realised about da song =) haha silly girl..
well i dunno it jus seems so weird now.. sigh why am i thinkin so much especially if it wasnt even from her mouth to my ears? sighhh maybe i think too much.. and its affecting me on da whole now.. sigh do i still haf a glimmer of hope left in those eyes..
jase [@] 11:00:00 PM
OMG.i just realised why you said An Jing was for me.remember kbox?probably not.i just looked at the lyrics.anyway,i feel like crying now.
(i probably should stop coming in here,right. x))
jase [@] 12:44:00 AM
Monday, April 11, 2005
its gone..
jase [@] 10:11:00 PM
Sunday, April 10, 2005
ok i shall blog now..
i think something dat i haf feared for a few weeks is happening right b4 mi eyes.. well all i can hope is dat i am wrong...
oh yay celebrations cos mi WWE Wrestlemania 21 is finally done downloading =) after 4 days plus =) haah i can finally turn off mi com for da day =) haha
bleh im not feeling too good...
anybody want soup? =)
jase [@] 9:25:00 PM
Friday, April 08, 2005
its jus sad so very sad dat pple still go under the anonmity to state their point.. i mean jus say who you are.. since u seem to knwo so much and is so "well-informed" why dun u jus say who you are? haha its jus cos ur afraid.. ur spineless and are a coward for doing so.. but you see when u put mi mum into da mix.. ur playing wif fire.. and a very sulphurous one.. all u've accomplished is urging me to further mi conquest.. and yeh no need to be anonymous since im not even in da country.. u are indeed a coward.. scared of me eventho im not in da country.. oh btw at least i haf frenz who are not anonymous who stand up for me =) thanks guys.. too bad u dun haf any..
oh anyways =) nothing can spoil mi realli good mood now =) an unusually good mood actually =) hehe
yeh =) nice try tho =)
haha went for focus tonite.. was actualli pretty good =)
my entire day was pretty good =) you are special to me =)
jase [@] 10:54:00 PM
Thursday, April 07, 2005
okok i shall update now.. hmmmm
-looks around for "passersby"- haha
i dunno i feel very stonish and cold recently.. and not in da brr cold.. oh wells
i want to be in a fairytale..
-reaches out to you-
bleh why are all mi sports teams in da decline =P
jase [@] 8:33:00 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005
i shall finally end the last2year chapter of mi life..
i regret making frenz wif you.. you were da biggest mistake of mi life.. BIGGEST.. i dun think ur even fit enuf to be in a "leadership" role.. the younger ones haf so much promise and its pple like you who take away dis chance for them.. dun sound all holy and righteous cos its in ur actions and not wad u think..
i hope docjohn turns out "different" from da other two.. from wad i hear finally an impartial (so far) and caring leader.. IMPARTIAL.. dats da most important thing..
when someone "leaves" church why do u think its their fault and not ur own or da church fault.. u dun change pple you change wads wrong.. u haf a very twisted sense of righteousness..
oh if u think i onli say stuff liek dat cos im in da cover of mi overseasness.. well ur very wrong cos i haf no shame and i haf no fear of u "authorities" over in s,pore.. there are way alotta things more i can say but i wont cos i dun wanna type out a 100page essay on how "sick" u all are..
jase [@] 6:27:00 PM
Sunday, April 03, 2005
heyhey fellas =) i shall update now =) since got stuff to update about
well today was alrite i guess =) it rained tho =P brr made it so ccold =) yeh had church which was normal i guess =) Ps Ken is such a good speaker =) haha i sorely missed dis quality in s,pore.. if he was preaching in s,pore tthere wouldnt be a problem wif too little youth going to service.. he kills revridge by 100miles.. haha yeh den played touch rugby wif da guys =) funfun and in da rain too =) rah got mi sexy shoes dirty tho =P bah i hafta go clean them tmr =) den stayed for nite service =) u know i bet dat danlian is way more rockefelic den doc john =))) hahaha =) im so having a ball here =) u know i onli wonder what i missed out when i was in s,pore wad dis.. da spiritual support =) da atmosphere das environment.. i hate you for tellin me "its different" cos its not.. hell no its not.. ur jus giving excuses to cover da mediocrity dat u all are satisfied wif.. noone ever told me dat i was loved.. and dat was good ol Ps Ken 1st words to me.. i wasted an entire year in prinsep and for wad? u say its cos of da age.. its not.. there was no love in prinsep.. onli love i felt was from mi mum and from germ.. i was look down upon and criticised and scrutinized and abandoned.. thank you for such a wonderful experience.. for da younger ones sake plh had better be alot better den i remember it to be.. hope dat da 2 "pinheads" haf left.. bias uncaring bastards
well ok enuf of dat outburst.. i washmi hands of prinsep and im giving it to God and forgettin da entire episode.. i promised 2 pple dat i wld and i love these 2 pple enuf to gif mi mum da 50dollars i bet to smash alex's face in.. i wld haf waited for da moment to do it.. and store up all dat in one big spear.. but yeh thank you for settin me straight =)
ok im done
jase [@] 10:08:00 PM
Friday, April 01, 2005
ok =)
i watched hitch today =) haah it was realli realli funny =) haha thank u agn for spending time wif me ok =) maybe its me but i had a feeling dat u werent very yourself today =P i dunno.. was it cos of me? =P
well jus came back from a really good youth grp =) im glad i went today =) pls help me get back on track =) thank you PS Ken for being supportive and praying for me and doing wad someone didnt in s,pore.. for supportin without prejudice.. thank you.. thanks phoebs for leading me back towards the light.. without you i dun think i will ever be where i am now.. thnkas =)
jase [@] 10:36:00 PM
