Tuesday, August 30, 2005

wooooooo =)

sigh BoA so rox mi sox =)

i cant wait for mum to come to aust wif mi BoA new cd =)

jase [@] 3:56:00 PM

Sunday, August 28, 2005

happy birthday shaz!

haha went to another 21sr bdae yest nite at a minigolf place.. good fun and yeh i din end up as sapped as da other 2 so im quite happy..

well things are getting better..

oh i prob going to city tmr.. bleh wongxin never answer sms =P boo you

jase [@] 5:19:00 PM

Thursday, August 25, 2005

sigh...

life still is awful..

jase [@] 10:43:00 PM

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

back from 2 movies =) haha it was realli not too bad =) watched da wedding crashers and unleashed =) haha cool cool

sigh i know i haf work to do but i jus realli cant be stuffed =P

jase [@] 9:21:00 PM

Monday, August 22, 2005

i feel somewad "lifted" yet still in suspense.. oh wells..

im going to try mi best!

jase [@] 7:35:00 PM

Sunday, August 21, 2005

to the moon and back..

sounds familiar doesnt it..

has da distance shrunk since da last time i checked mi sci book?

isnt it hard to throw something dat big away?

i hate you for preaching and making yourself so holy.. and u still justify dat as being mi fren? u must be realli too righteous to relate to "little" ppl elike me or jus plain insensitive...

please may this be a test and dat i'll haf mi happy ending

jase [@] 5:12:00 PM

Saturday, August 20, 2005

This is for you germ.. jsu a song i dedicate 2 u
too bad da kanji characters doesnt come out =P

Sekai no hajimari no hi
Inochi no ki no shita de
Kujira-tachi no koe no tooi zankyou
Futari de kiita

Nakushita mono subete
Aishita mono subete
Kono te ni dakishimete
Ima wa doko wo samayoi iku no

Kotae no hisomu kohaku no taiyou
Deawanakereba
Satsuriku no tenshi de irareta
Fushinaru matataki motsu tamashii
Kizutsukanaide
Boku no Hane
Kono kimochi shiru tame umarete kita

Ichimannen to nisennen mae kara aishiteru
Hassennen sugita koro kara motto koishikunatta
Ichioku to nisennen ato mo aishiteru
Kimi wo shitta sono hi kara boku no jigoku ni ongaku wa taenai

Sekai ga owaru mae ni
Inochi ga owaru mae ni
Nemuru nageki hodoite
Kimi no kaori dakishimetai yo

Mimisumaseta wadatsumi no kioku
Shitsui ni no mare tachi tsukusu uruwashiki tsuki
Yomigaere
Towa ni karenu hikari
Yogosarenai de
Kimi no yume
Inori
Yadoshinagara umaretekita

Ichimannen to nisennen mae kara aishiteru
Hassennen sugita koro kara motto koishikunatta
Ichioku to nisennen ato mo aishiteru
Kimi wo shitta sono hi kara boku no jigoku ni ongaku wa taenai

Kimi ga kurikaeshi otona ni natte
Nandomo nandomo tooku he itte
Mimamoru boku ga nemurenai boku ga kushya kushya ni natta to shitemo
Kimi no na wo utau tame ni...

Ichimannen to nisennen mae kara aishiteru
Hassennen sugita koro kara motto koishikunatta
Ichioku to nisennen ato mo aishiteru　　Kimi wo shitta sono hi kara
Ichimannen to nisennen mae kara aishiteru
Hassennen sugita koro kara motto koishikunatta
Ichioku to nisennen tatte mo aishiteru
Kimi wo shitta sono hi kara boku no jigoku ni ongaku wa taenai

hmm i shall jus add da link here so hopefully u can see da kanji

jase [@] 7:25:00 PM

it's been one week and im nowhere near jus "gettin over"...

i cant sleep at nites.. i cant think properly.. i cant play sport properly..

i dunno.. im jus hoping it's a test 4 me.. dat after all ur exams u will come back to me.. but wad if it's not.. wad if ur serious.. i think i'll jus die.. sigh

pls come back

jase [@] 7:07:00 PM

Friday, August 19, 2005

yup another realli bad day.. i seem to be having alot of those..

feel so alone again..

im startin to hate going on frinites agn

jase [@] 11:17:00 PM

i jus read mi frenz blog.. 2 yrs of intermittent up and down s,pore and she and her bf is still going strong.. i feel so damn bloody envious.. sigh..

anyways.. i cried for 20mins in da chapel and felt so malu when da cl;eaner walked up to me and gave me a tissue box.. he's cool

jase [@] 6:06:00 PM

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

why do i still cry..
why do these tears flow so freely..

i cant do anything but accept this "arrangement".. it hurts so deeep and so unending..

all dats left is a hope, however tiny & faint it is, it's still there..

praying for my miracle

jase [@] 9:02:00 PM

loking forward to da future but scared of it at da same time...

im struggling wif dis new "status" of mine.. realli struggling very badly.. i never thot life wld be dis cruel.. dis hard.. dis unforgiving

they say wif prayer God can make miracles.. im praying for mi miracle right now

jase [@] 4:26:00 PM

Monday, August 15, 2005

im still in it..

there is a faint glimmer of hope..

it still can be done..

ive got heaps fo work to do from now till feb..

gambate jase!
lots prayer and heaps load of effort

jase [@] 10:30:00 PM

080605 dat was da last time u told me "i love you"..

130805 was da day u said u din love me anymore...

2 months and 5 days was all it took for you to throw it all away.. 2 months and 5 days was all it took for you to throw me by the wayside.. 2 motnhs and 5 days was all it took for something to be "useful" to "useless"..

tell me if dat is fair?

jase [@] 3:49:00 PM

Sunday, August 14, 2005

u know wad.. stuff all dis anonymity..

germ pls consider wad u haf done..
i beg of you.. im pleading you.. things cant end dis way.. there must be another way..

i cant live w/o u..

jase [@] 10:40:00 PM

"uni is da best time of your life.."

that has gotta be da biggest bullshit i have heard dis year...

wads so good about being alone? wads so good about losing da onli thing i treasure?

why did u change dis much? it was onli april dat i held u and u held me back ever so tightly.. how can u jus "erase" me out like dat.. u dun even look forward to seeing me agn.. wad am i suppose to do now? i haf noone in s,pore to go back to.. u were mi goal.. u were mi light at da end of mi tunnel.. now dat ur gone wads da point of me tryin so hard.. wads mi reward at the end of such a shit year? i thot at least ive got you as mi hilite of da yr.. and now it's gone..

u cant do this to me... u jus cant.. how could u be so.. heartless...

where's mi letter and email? ive been waiting for so long.. first da phone calls, dun tell me now da letters and emails?

i haf been looking forward to da day i can come back and hold u agn.. now i'll prob be lucky if u even want to talk to me ever again.. ive got nothing to look forward to anymore..

yes im weak.. at least im man enuf to admit it.. wads so weak about crying and beggin for you not to go away?

uve gone and destroyed me.. dats wads da extent of ur actions.. but seriously do you even care?

jase [@] 6:37:00 PM

i cry and cry and noone hears me..

she's gone and thrown me by the wayside.. i reach out and she walks away..

it's not fair..

i love you and wun stop loving u eventho u hurt me, eventho u hate me, eventho u stopped loving me..

jase [@] 1:00:00 AM

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Everton 0 - 2 Manchester United
van Nistelrooy, Rooney

OLE!

well finally the 2005/2006 EPL season has started on da way =) and Man U started off well wif a 2-0 win =)

where there's a start of something good, there's always da subsequent downside.. i miss your hankering me "are u done yet..", i miss da interest u showed to me even tho soccer isnt your thing after every match..

i miss u so much

sigh

yay im gonna wear mi man u jersey tmr for ALL to see =)

jase [@] 11:44:00 PM

What ever happened to the courtesy of replying smses.. u mean u dun even want to sms me back anymore? wad too busy wif other pple to give a care.. or cant be bothered to care cos it's onli me? i waited da entire nite for ur sms u know..

i dremt about u last nite.. all da good times rewound in one dream.. woke up crying dis morning..

it's just not fair

jase [@] 9:58:00 AM

Thursday, August 11, 2005

at uni now =P i know im suppose to be doing a lil bit of revision but =P haha =)

jus read someones site and like i guess i do feel abit cut dat how can certain pple haf everything and some jus haf very little? and and thing is dat most of the time these pple haf had everything for their whole lives.. dun da pple dat haf less deserve a break every now and then..

and why do these pple take advantage of da fact dat they are more well off den others and make it known and obvious..

i onli want 2 things in mi life and i dun think i will ever get these 2 things ever..

jase [@] 9:05:00 AM

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

i watched The Island today.. was quite ok i guess.. but very "ethics" kinda show =P a type fo show where there is no clear bad guy.. but hey whoevers side that has scarlett johannson is in should be da "good" side =) hehe she was so hot in the show =)

well.. i dun haf to tell u directly dat u better not be involved or haf anything to do wif ***..

another 21st is coming up.. sigh i realli dunno how many more i can take b4 i totally break down.. sigh.. doesnt matter.. it's for mi fren and well i guess it's worth it.. i think =P

sigh

im so tired =P was up till 2am last nite =P

lookin forward to wads to coem yet scared of the other option

jase [@] 7:42:00 PM

Monday, August 08, 2005

a ps3 and g

need to write julia's letter and den do ome stats homework =P i hate stats SO much..

hmm rowena looks like germ so much its scary..

pfftt.. i realli dun like mi life..

nvm 4 more months to go.. oh bother.. im like expecting so much and stuff.. disappointment in the end wld probably kill me..

well it's going to be National Day tmr i think.. so yeh happynationalday..

SIGH

darn seem to be doing dat a whole lot more nowadays

jase [@] 8:03:00 PM

Saturday, August 06, 2005

da feeling of loneliness reared its ugly head agn...

i do get da occasional "hi" but dats all.. i dunno.. i guess it's jus something i jus hafta get used to esp when i start going to FOCUS regularly.. well at least i get to avoid da dreaded "suppertime" cos i join the boys in mage =D

sighhh

why has mi life become like dis..

i jus read mi past smses.. it's onli been 2 months since it all stopped.. when i thot life had petered out and stayed constant.. den "bang" it hit new lows dat i never thot existed..

jase [@] 10:59:00 PM

sigh why do good things happen to pple dat already haf such a good life and not to pple who need good things to happen to them...

u know dat ur realli lucky to haf everything.. e=everything

went to chaddy today =P it realli sucked.. bought nothing.. din even enjoy da walking around.. was as if i lost a piece of a puzzle..

i realli cant get down to studying today =P jus been so pre-occupied.. been thinking about dec agn.. i dun think i wld be able to deal wif it if mi onegoodthingfortheyear doesnt happen...

missing u alot more den usual today

jase [@] 3:34:00 PM

Thursday, August 04, 2005

heyhey anyone wanna join EPL Dream team tag me ok =)

jase [@] 6:32:00 PM

hey alls im at uni library computers now =P and its raining =P im like all wet =P

well...

the rain reminded me of you agn =P it's realli not fair dat how come i still think of u alot and u dun seem to even care about me anymore..

anyays..

there's so many things dat i wish to get =P some money cant buy some money can =P

when dreams come true

sigh

why does dis hafta happen to me..

jase [@] 8:49:00 AM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

had to drag along 2 rackets and 2 rolls of shuttles only to find out that there's nto enuf pple to play badminton.. sheesh den went home but stopped midway for one game of WC3 =)

sigh.. i was lookin forward to hitting shuttles too =P

mmf im not feelin too well in da tummy =P

i was taking a 45min powernap earlier and started thinking about her.. thinkin about dec and thinking about the future.. and one thing is constant.. and dats being wif her.. SIGH

nvm i tahan another few months and all mi dreams will come true =)

eh ben here's a subtle hint =) pool one's resources for something big XD hehe