Tuesday, February 28, 2006
the things dat jus keep me going no matter how bleak things were...
i wonder whats at da end of this vast ocean
its prob something really different from anythin here
i wonder if i can see it from the clouds
like the children playing their trumpets by the angels
if u llisten carefully somewherein da forest
there's a tiny voice only i can hear
should i soar away like in a dream,
to a place far off in the distance with nobody else
to have asked so many qns
but to haf no answers to say
turning around and thinking back
ive had a secret for awhile now, that's slipped away from mi memory
What's wrong? ive been waiting to grow up
and for some sort of memory ive forgotten
i hope my tiny wishes and dreams
wont be forgotten
and i whisper towards da heaven
in the dark night sky, in the midst of the bright shining stars
was that the place that i was born
i want to believe that
i came here from another world
to have asked so many qns
but to haf no answers to say
turning around and thinking back
ive had a secret for awhile now, that's slipped away from mi memory
What's wrong? ive been waiting to grow up
and for some sort of memory ive forgotten
i hope my tiny wishes and dreams
wont be forgotten
and i whisper towards da heaven
a nice scent from the wind approaches me
there were tiny whispers
pay attention and listen up
we'll find those forgotten memories agn
i'll never let go
of mi forgotten memories agn
i hope mi wishes and dreams
wont be forgotten
and i whisper towards the heavens
What's wrong? ive been waiting to grow up
and for some sort of memory ive forgotten
i hope my tiny wishes and dreams
wont be forgotten
and i whisper towards da heaven
jase [@] 11:17:00 PM
Monday, February 27, 2006
League Cup Final]
Manchester United 4 - 0 Wigan AthleticRooney (34, 63), Saha (58), Ronaldo (61)alllrriiiiggghhhtttt =)
haha rah happy but realli tired cos i stayed up for da match den today uni started too =P ahah
oh and mi hawks won too =) haha hmm did i say dat in mi prev post already? ahah
hmm well uni has started and i guess it's da same as always la.. well wad can be expected tho.. hmm i shall be more friendly and socialble dis yr around.. meet more pple meet new pple.. maybe dis is my year... if it is i hafta grab it and not let it run awau from me.. =)
jase [@] 4:22:00 PM
Sunday, February 26, 2006
well according to when da party was...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANDotherwise ahah i'll post again on da actualy date =) ahha eh eh someone send me photos or tell me about how it went =) im dyin to know! yeh sorry xm for not being able to attend k =P
uni starts tmr =P blehhh ahaha =P
jase [@] 5:18:00 PM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
yaye! mi com is running pretttyyyy fine now =) added 512mb of ram to it and we haf a new printer now =) hehe can scan too =) plus its super silenttt =) ahah
hmm focus last nite wasnt dat bad =) 1st time i actually felt comfy wif da pple there.. ahha dats a good start i suppose =) haah drew on julz face wif makeup ahah =) i never knew lipstick so easily can break loh =P sorryyyy julllzzz =)
yaye mi hawks won their opening round in da NABcup haha =)
jase [@] 7:19:00 PM
Thursday, February 23, 2006
wahhh today was hot =P and tmr will be da same and hotter on sat.. die la die la.. ahha and i thot it wld be cooling down =P
goodness
oh yaye chelsea, liverpool and Realmadrid all lost midweek =) ahha
played badminton, cricket and hung around in uni talking and suaning julz haah =)
funny how da 2 fun chicks i like to be around have names so similar =P ahah julz and juuu haha =P so weird
mi com has stopped being cranky adn laggy ahha =) must be angry dat i never use her for so long XD ahah
jase [@] 9:25:00 PM
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
hmm had 1st driving lesson today =P keep forgetting to headcheck.. and mi parking abit dodgy =P oh wells ahah
hmmm i haf a pretty ok timetable for uni next semester... onli bad day is thurs.. =P which was da same situation for last yr too =P ahah is dis a sign ahah badluckthursdays?
ahaha
bleh friday's going to be like 39degrees =P
jase [@] 7:43:00 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
hmm its tues already..
watched Keeping Mum.. some Rowan Atkinson show.. wasnt dat bad.. considering dat that the movies dis summer/winter ahah kinda realli realli suck..
mmm i declare mi self bored =P
need to manage mi downloads properly haha.. theres a chance i may get capped now.. =P
hmm im glad now dat i haf something to look forward to in dec =P dec is so far away and w/o anything to look forward to its hard..
if u were to change ur mind.. wad do i do?
jase [@] 8:05:00 PM
Monday, February 20, 2006
hmm today was spent slacking and advancing mi weird game ahaha =)
im married to 2 women haha haf a wicked sword and haf done it 12 times XD ahahahah
RPGS are weird...
jase [@] 8:22:00 PM
Sunday, February 19, 2006
ok
finally..hmm yeh i meant every word wether u believe or not..
if God makes wad i want come true so be it.. otherwise i will try to make do wif wad i haf now.. and jus WAIT..hmm ok one left haha =P
still feeling feelings dat i shouldnt be feeling..
jase [@] 6:34:00 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2006
where are you clairemei?
jase [@] 10:39:00 PM
Friday, February 17, 2006
well i shall update a longer post den my last 2 ahah =P
dis is how im thinking at da moment.. if u give her something why dont u give me something? wldnt dat be fair and everything will be ok? why do i hafta suffer longer? sheesh
going by the law of averages mi time is now but i guess dat law is flawed..
been staying home da majority of the week.. i finished mi liger and jus hafta finish da falcon and decide wether to display it as 2 or the combined version.. i want more zoids XD ahah
i miss her SO much.. the thing is im not supposed to.. again u echo the words
it isnt fair..HMM still no word at all from certain pple.. funny how i dun even get ONE reply..
its gettin hot in melb.. hopefully tmr is a lot cooler..
jase [@] 4:53:00 PM
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
life is cruel.. God is cruel..
But..
jase [@] 10:19:00 PM
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
today wasnt so bad after all.. =P
haha short update today..
himegoto
jase [@] 9:52:00 PM
Monday, February 13, 2006
tired/exshauted + moody is not good =P
jase [@] 7:34:00 PM
Sunday, February 12, 2006
hmmm my hp camera seems to haf magically started to work ahah =P i jus tried it today and it worked =P so weird.. =P haha
well i hope alot of pple at least went to see claire and amanda off.. seems dat i again play da "guinea pig" haha and after da fiasco from last time i guess pple haf finally learnt.. i hope mei and amanda are shown the love they deserve when they fly off =)
had rach for church adn over to slack... had a good time even tho i havent had any sleep yest and yeh not bad for a zombie =) haha
jase [@] 9:30:00 PM
ok im back in melbourne now.. hoping and praying for a change of fortunes dis time round..
anyways thank you mi 2 wonderful daughters, bench, cand and juuu for coming to see me off ok =) i love da thoughtful shirt =D i will pin it on mi wall =) haha
sigh da possibilities and "what-ifs".. i will miss
you one of da most...
we'll see how things go over here.. cant wait for mei and amanda to join us too
as for all da pple i treasure in s,pore.. i love u all and i will miss u all heaps.. u all take care and see u soon ok
jase [@] 8:09:00 AM
Saturday, February 11, 2006
700th post!! ahahahah
how timely =) on mi 700th post i celebrate juuuu's 7points! ahah
well done and im realli proud of u juuu =D
and a congrats goes out to the rest of u who has gotten ur O lvl results, well done lyd, germ, yilyn, mei and etc ok
i came across a discovery.. self discovery about something.. something realli close to my heart but at da same time something i am not allowed to be feeling.. but i onli realised dis morning.. scary isnt it.. something so sudden to pop up out of no where.. well we'll see how a yr overseas goes and if anything develops.. i seriously wld wait till den if there was something to happen... it would be worth waiting for..
thank you God for opening mi eyes.. thank you God for giving me a confidante, thank you God for juuu =)
jase [@] 3:06:00 AM
Friday, February 10, 2006
jus came home from a big feast at akira's ahah =) ate so much im so full now haha =) had salmon, swordfish, yellowtail & amaebi sashimi, scallop, salmon & chicken teppanyaki, beef, chicken and salmon teriyaki and lots more ahah i cant rem =) too full to remember ahah
yeh ok i know da truth now so i guess it does put mi heart and mind to rest abit..
i realli hope da best for u 2 ok.. honestly.. yes i do feel sad dat uve chosen him over me yes i admit but i realli hope da best for u ok.. like ive said b4, u hold a very special place in mi heart no matter wad and i want u to be happy..
I WILL MOVE ON!
jase [@] 12:58:00 AM
Thursday, February 09, 2006
mmm mi throat is still croaky =) haha
i realli dont think there is another way.. ive done all dat i can do and yet it still hurts.. why? i dont want to go backwards i realli dont.. but there isnt anymore forward i can go cept dat one way..
Please God, jus one more step God.. one more stage.. i cant finish this one step by myself, please God give me this last and final step to end all dis..i want it all to go away now..
oh btw.. i will take da tagboard down if dis nonsense continues.. yes fine its there for whoever to write wad they want but seriously dis is getting ridiculous.. ive done nothing to u so jus mind ur own business pls since "u dont even know me".
jase [@] 1:04:00 PM
wahhh 6 hours of kbox.. im exhausted now ahha never sang so much in mi life =P ahahh now mi throat is like stuffed literally ahah
ok 3 more days.. good to finally leave s,pore.. bad to leave da awesome frenz i haf here..
was looking back at mi past blog posts.. hmm i feel so stupid for onli one thing and dat was falling in love with her.. i did not foresee wad wld happen in da end and i guess if i could haf seen da future, things wld haf progressed a lot differently.. but dat isnt the case.. i couldnt see the future..
jus feel pissed nowadays.. not so much heartbrokenness.. jus pissed..
heard dat she's decided to embark on "new pastures" i realli hope dat u dun get hurt but at da same time i realli want u to experience wad ive gone thru becos of u.. i can onli wish u all da best cos eventho ive accepted da current situation i still do love you and its cos of that dat i haf decided to accept and (proverbially) "let u go".. hopefully u will come back but its not in mi power anymore.. ive done mi part and i jus hope da future will be good for me..
seriously i think uve wasted a guy dat would haf decided to love u forever.. i jus hope it doesnt come back to haunt you and that u will be happy okshe will always have a place in mi heart and i haf da right to do dat..
jase [@] 12:22:00 AM
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
haha had durian outing today =) so fun ahah and got "marks" to show for it too ahah =) right juuuu? *winks ahaha
well im glad we managed to talk and stuff.. its good to jus sit and talk and not jus about random crap but actually we managed to include some D&M stuff ahah amongst all da crap dat is =) ahah and sincerely from our hearts we are trying to help u cos we love u =)
im still not lookin forward to melb.. da pple here are way closer to mi heart den over there.. funny how i dun like da church here but love da pple so much whereas over in melb i like da church but im not close to pple there..
sigh
jase [@] 10:29:00 PM
Monday, February 06, 2006
hmmm today was actually quite good.. jsu got home
had a "treat" today.. went out to eat lunch den went to her cousins place which was near holland village.. in the "bighouse" area XD haha apparently its furnished but vacant cos it was too big for 3 pple so the family moved to somewhere smaller haha.. but wah damn big la and damn grand.. was realli nice and had an awesome time =)
sigh
i dunno wad to think or say anymore.. jus wondering all da stuff u gave up and i hope ur happy..
was it all worth it? da qn dat will echo thru da ages and times to come..
i miss kbox! i hope to go there at least one more time...
jase [@] 7:14:00 PM
well had an awesome time wif yilyn =) thanks for coming down and meeting up and spending time wif me =) u made mi otherwise pretty chacat day.. hm actually if not 4 u my day was a semi disaster so im thankful..
"see la u wad type of organizing... " blah blah blah thanks mei for being so "understanding"..
anyways sorry amanda for not organizing properly cos ur da onli one i owe an aplogy to and noone else..
i hope u get ur "just desserts" in da end and learn from wad u haf done or spurned..
jase [@] 12:48:00 AM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
well kick off in 10mins...
hope i get to do wad i planned to do tmr =P
sigh i haf a mixed number of emotions now.. so weird.. sigh
jase [@] 3:54:00 AM
Saturday, February 04, 2006
ok regret regret regret regret =P like OMG it was realli "not to mi taste"
well home now.. still feelin reali crap.. i dunno jus feeling realli down for some reason.. today cant even play pool properly.. i duno sigh.. i guess it's me feeling adn struggling wif da loneliness..
da fact remains eventho i hafta and now changed mi feelings..
you're still so beautifulbut i strive and i moved
jase [@] 1:47:00 AM
Friday, February 03, 2006
hmm i think ive said dis a thousand times but i guess i jus hafta say it again.. u remain anonymous den you dont matter and look who is mature now haha.. and i'll treat u as if u dont matter.. if u say who u are den yes i wld prob take it constructively cos da comments werent all dat bad in da first place.. they're are hence onli perceived as bad cos u decide to remain behind a mask which jus shows wad type of person u are... if u know who u are den sorry if i insulted u but jus bear in mind dat by ur anonymity u deserve half of ur it anyway
pple talk like they know everything when they know nothing which is indeed a spectacle to see sometimes.. lets try to explain dis.... HMMMMM wait haha there isnt a need to explain ANYTHING cos i dun answer to someone i dont know haha XD !!!
and if mi suspicions of who dis person is are correct den i haf already explained to thema nd they didnt understand so not mi fault haha..
its realli simple isnt it sometimes..
yet most of the time it isntyes i agree.. when ur scared anything goes ..
onto other things.. i guess its all up to you now.. i have agreed to your terms and i jus want things to be right.. bu i cant play ur part..
it's all up to you now.. i onli haf less den 10days left and i guess i jus want things to be right b4 i leave.. uve shown and smsed dat u want tings right too now u hafta act it..
jase [@] 2:32:00 PM
i will hide wad im going thru till im gone.. jus kinda think alot of things arent fair.. but becos of 3 others im not allowed to feel like wad im feeling..
mi arm hurts.. ouch
still full from sakae..
praying to God to bring the perfect one into my life
jase [@] 1:13:00 AM
Thursday, February 02, 2006
let's jus hope dat da sms convo actually did change something..
went sakae today =P ate till i died =P blehh ahha feel abit sick now ahha
was jus thinking about stuff to do wif da "others"... they dont matter 2 me anymore.. if i dont matter den its all fine to me dat they dont matter..
u are still wrong about EVERYTHING.. if u think heart is all it takes den u can expect to fail.. sheesh u dont understand anythin and i jus hope u dont learn da hard way..
i jus feel lonely now.. dats it.. =P bleh haha
well it beats wad i was feeling a week ago =P
jase [@] 9:49:00 PM
hmm cant sign into msn messenger..
seriously fine ok u haf no feelings for me anymore.. i haf accepted it and i jus wanna make tings better.. u yourself haf shown me dat u wld like to be frenz and pple tell me u want our friendship to work.. den why wont u at least reply mi smses? i know u got my sms dat nite den why dun u even respond? u wun talk to me in public fine i can understand..but i do accept everything and our terms now.. wun u even listen and hear me out?
I ACCEPT DAT U NO LONGER HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR ME AND I HAVE MOVED ON now pls u want our friendship to be anything remotely a friendship pls respond..
wad i want is for us to go right back to da very beginning? rem how we started? kor/mei.. dats how we started and i wld like to start all over again.. u will get a letter from me soon.. pls respond.. i realli hope u haf not changed to someone dat "ugly".. please i still hold u in high regard thru all dis and despite everything and dun let something like dis tarnish mi view of u..
jase [@] 2:30:00 AM
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
ok yayeness i had mi bball game today =)
went to cands place.. haha kinda last minute but heck la =) good food and good fun so yeh =) needed to work mi useless muscles anyways =)
burden lifting slowlylike i dun feel da hartache when i talk about her anymore..
things wil get better.. the right one is somewhere out there.. its coming i can feel it =D hehe
jase [@] 3:07:00 AM
